Earth's Mightiest Petsitters
by Loki's brat
Summary: Things can get a little crazy at Stark Tower. Sometimes between the magic, chaos, and barbecue sauce things go wrong...or at least weird.


"Damn." Loki uttered, glancing at me and my sister. I looked up at him curiously, hoping Loki would elaborate. "If it's any consolation, the spell will wear off." Loki added calmly. I nodded and hopped up on the couch beside him to watch my sister bounce at the windows and wait for the Avengers to return to the tower. We didn't have to wait long. As soon as my sister saw the superheroes she started yapping excitedly. "Silence please, Hailey." Loki ordered, giving her a stern look. That shut my sister up for all of two seconds until the elevator dinged. The second Steve stepped out of the elevator he was attacked by a bouncy german shepherd puppy.

"Loki, why are there animals in my tower?!" Tony yelled over Clint's calls of "Here, kitty kitty." I decided that was the perfect time to welcome the team home and hopped off the couch to do so. "I was attempting a new spell." Loki answered.

"Hey! I think he likes me!" Clint interjected, petting the brown tabby rubbing against his outstretched wrist.

"She," Loki corrected,"Devon is a she."

"You turned a sixteen-year-old girl and her fourteen-year-old sister into a cat and a dog." Natasha stated.

"Temporarily." Loki clarified. Steve, oblivious to the conversation, looked up from the wriggling puppy in his arms.

"Can we keep them?" He asked hopefully as the dog licked his face.

"The dog is Hailey, enchanted by my brother." Thor informed Steve as he reached down to stroke me.

"I'd like to do some tests on Devon." Bruce added mildly as I wound around his legs.

"Just Devon?" Tony asked.

"Hailey won't sit still." Bruce explained.

"I must be permitted to accompany you in the lab." Loki insisted. Bruce agreed and the three of us headed down to the lab. While Hailey gave kisses and learned tricks from Steve, Clint, and Thor, Natasha watched tv, Tony played with his suit, and Bruce did tests on me while Loki watched. Tests meant I was poked, prodded, and generally manhandled. It was humiliating and downright painful, but I kept my claws in.

"Is she doing that for comfort?" Bruce asked as I rubbed against Loki's arm after a particularly painful prodding.

"Perhaps..." Loki answered, eyeing me as I sat on the table.

"Why don't you hold her while I take a blood sample." Bruce suggested. Loki gingerly picked me up and laid me along his left forearm with his right hand on my back. I could hear his heartbeat. Once Bruce had the blood sample we headed back to the others, Loki refusing to put me down. Tony was already upstairs, he and Thor were talking. Clint had joined Natasha on the couch, and Steve was rocking my sister. As we walked in there was a video call from Fury.

"Alright, team, listen up." Fury began, and then, "Rogers."

"Sir?" Steve looked up at the screen.

"Why are you rocking a dog?" Fury asked, clearly exasperated.

"Because she's tired, sir." Steve answered.

"I called for a status report." Fury sighed.

"Everything's great, sir." Tony reported. "Except for the fact that Loki turned the girls into animals, but yeah, everything's fine."

"Wonderful." Fury groaned.

"The spell will soon wear off." Loki reassured him, scratching between my shoulder blades. That was heaven. Fury almost seemed to soften slightly as Hailey stretched up to sleepily lick Steve on the cheek. Instead of yelling, Fury just glared at us.

"Don't kill each other." He ordered before signing off. Stifling a yawn, Steve collapsed into a nearby recliner.

"Movie time!" Tony announced suddenly, noticing nobody was up to anything more energetic. Halfway into "The Aristocats" Loki and I were the only ones still awake. Steve was asleep in the recliner, with my sister the puppy napping on his chest. Bruce had dozed off in another recliner, his glasses had fallen out of his hands. Clint was curled up on the loveseat, his head in Natasha's lap. Natasha had her fingers entwined in Clint's short hair, and would occasionally move them as she slept. Tony was passed out on one end of the couch, snoring gently. Not that anyone could really hear him over Thor, who was asleep on the other end of the couch. Loki was lounging between them. He had moved me onto his chest, where I could hear every breath, especially the drowsy yawns. Jarvis has pictures of all nine of us passed out in the living room. According to my sister, Steve is an excellent snuggle buddy.

We hung around the tower all day. Bruce was right, Hailey doesn't sit still. Steve did manage to convince Hailey to sit long enough for him to sketch her, but she jumped on him the second he finished and Steve had to bribe her with apple slices. Since Steve had never had a dog he was all too eager to take Hailey for a walk in the park. A piece of rope was turned into a makeshift leash and off they went. Loki and I stayed in the tower, and when Coulson video called he was surprised to see Loki stroking a brown cat in his lap and talking to it. Loki had been telling me stories from Asgard, but stopped when Coulson cleared his throat.

"I was told there was a situation with the girls?" Coulson asked.

"Temporarily, yes." Loki replied.

"Where are they?" Coulson continued.

"Hailey and Steve are at the park, and Devon is right here." Loki answered, glancing down at me.

"I'll be right over." Coulson sighed, rubbing his forehead. As soon as Coulson hung up Bruce and Tony walked in. They were talking excitedly about science, and were finishing each other's sentences. They were continuing their discussion over cookies when Coulson arrived, accompanied by Clint and Natasha who were arguing loudly in Russian.

"You're both wrong," Coulson stated as he stepped out of the elevator, "it was Professor Lidenbrock."

"I understood that reference!" Steve exclaimed, coming up from behind. Hailey barked happily and jumped up on Coulson, who patted her head.

"Can you fix this?" Coulson asked Loki as I wound around his legs to say hello.

"I cannot reverse it but it will wear off in no more than a fortnight." Loki answered.

"What have we learned from this?" Tony teased.

Loki glared at him and, with a straight face, replied, "Never substitute ketchup for barbecue sauce." Tony burst out laughing. "I do not jest, Stark." Loki commented coldly.

"You can ask us if you need anything, Loki. We're a team." Bruce interjected wearily. Loki nodded gratefully. Since Coulson wasn't needed at S. H. I. E. L. D that afternoon he hung around. Mostly to keep Tony and Loki in line he said. If that really was Coulson's only job for the afternoon he had it easy. Tony headed down to the lab with Bruce and the science bros didn't emerge until dinner. Clint and Natasha occupied Coulson with a card game in the kitchen around the island. I think they were betting smarties. Steve and Thor seemed to forget they were adults and chased Hailey on all fours, wrestling and laughing as she licked them. Loki attached a ball of aluminum foil to a string and, upon discovering I can't pounce, endeavoured to teach me. This went on for hours, but eventually Clint and Natasha pulled chicken nuggets and fries out of the oven. Jarvis summoned Bruce and Tony, Steve, Thor, and Loki washed their hands, and Coulson poured milk into eight glasses and two bowls. After dinner, because Coulson was our guest, we watched the Supernanny marathon. Bruce and Tony took the armchairs, Clint, Natasha, and Coulson shared the couch, Steve and Thor sat Hailey between them on the loveseat, Loki sat on the floor leaning against Thor's legs, and pulled me into his lap. Coulson left late, and everyone headed off to bed. As I padded past Hailey's room I overheard whimpering.

"Fine. But only two minutes." Steve sighed in reply. I continued making sure everyone was in bed and not the lab. I had to swat Tony's ankles until he started moving.

"At least you didn't use your claws." he grumbled as he headed up to bed. Ten minutes later I passed Hailey's room again and poked my head inside. Steve was fast asleep with Hailey curled up on his chest. I padded into my room and settled onto the bed. The second I closed my eyes Loki slipped in. I watched as he stalked over, lay down, and carefully lifted me onto his chest. I woke up much taller and with significantly less hair.

"Don't move." Loki ordered in a whisper, trapping me against his chest.

"AAAARRRGGGG!" The screams echoed down the hallway. "I'm so sorry! I don't! I didn't mean to!" Steve babbled quickly.

"It's okay!" Hailey laughed in reply.

"Really?" Steve asked once he calmed down.

"Yeah, it's fine!" Hailey chuckled. A choice comment regarding the noise floated down from Tony's room.

"Language!" Steve and Hailey yelled at the same time before dissolving into giggles. The rest of the day almost resembled normal. Steve took Hailey to the park, Tony and Bruce were holed up in the lab, Clint and Natasha headed out and around the city, Thor, Loki, and I watched crime shows. It's actually pretty funny having two big, fearless, Norse gods hiding their heads in your shoulders which, according to Thor and Loki, never happened. I'm not sure Tony will believe that if he sees the footage. We're all going to get teased.


End file.
